Be Ware……. A terrible turn of events………

[KittyKatSmack]

This is a true story.

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.

This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,

Mike Pashby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*purr purr*
😀

Z Blue Skyline
Z Silver Mazda
BitCharG Hummer
BitCharG GTR ~ arriving soon!

[dgs73]

i know i’ve read that somewhere before… v. funny though!!:D

[PandaBear]

Its in the “Darwin Awards” book, dgs.

[z-beam]

i read it in a picture magazine….

[Shypo]

i have herd that b4 aswell, still quite amusing

—-
Go Fast, Be Free with Low CC

Undisputed Post Pimp

[KittyKatSmack]

Always willing to share a giggle and a laugh with ‘my’ boys on ausmicro.

*grins*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*purr purr*
😀

Z Blue Skyline
Z Silver Mazda
BitCharG Hummer
BitCharG GTR ~ arriving soon!

[PandaBear]

How about this one…

This guy buys a brand new pickup (no guesses which war-mongering country he’s from…! :evil:)

Wants to run it in, so invites his mate along for a fishing trip. They load up their food, beer, supplies and guns (heck, its US ok??!) and their pigdog comes along for the ride too.

It is winter, so they drive onto this big frozen lake. Ice is thick enough to bear their weight, no worries.

They need to make a hole in ice though, to fish.
No problems – the guy brings out a stick of dynamite.

Lights it. Chucks it 40′ away, to a suitable clearing on the ice.

Suddenly, flash of brown fur brushes past him… its the DOG! And it thinks its master has just chucked a stick for it!!

Sure enough, dog picks up the stick and starts running back to the 2 guys.

The guys panic; the friend brings out his shotgun and fires 1 shot at the air to try scare the dog.

No good, dog still has fizzing stick in mouth.

He fires second shot direct at dog. Ok, this does the trick, dog is petrified and bolts for cover.

Towards under the truck… 😯

Claim form to insurance begins “there’s an interesting story as to why my new truck is at the bottom of a frozen lake”… :blush:

[KittyKatSmack]

I thought I had heard that one where they tried to shoot the dog…..

In which case, they are the ones that need shooting!!!!

Good Doggy
*pats doggy on the head*

Besides, if I was the insurance company, I’d tell the bloke to wait until Summer and we’ll fish it out for ya!

:smiley2:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*purr purr*
😀

Z Blue Skyline
Z Silver Mazda
BitCharG Hummer
BitCharG GTR ~ arriving soon!

[KittyKatSmack]

I thought I had heard that one where they tried to shoot the dog…..

In which case, they are the ones that need shooting!!!!

Good Doggy
*pats doggy on the head*

Besides, if I was the insurance company, I’d tell the bloke to wait until Summer and we’ll fish it out for ya!

:smiley2:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*purr purr*
😀

Z Blue Skyline
Z Silver Mazda
BitCharG Hummer
BitCharG GTR ~ arriving soon!

[Author]

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